When a light maker lost her light…

In a previous life chapter, I committed my life to drive policy changes that would make the world a better place. I had more than a decade or experience working in international organizations including the World Economic Forum (WEF), World Trade Organization (WTO),  The Global Fund, and EAT Foundation. I published research and articles under direct supervision of the UN Special Rapporteur for the Rights of Food and chapters on intergenerational women’s trauma. I started my career very young and I never stopped working even when I was pursuing my studies. And I’ve been working on topics spanning global health, environmental sustainability, food systems and agriculture, and human rights.

I come from a small town in Indonesia, but by my 20s, I had the contacts of the world’s most influential people on my phone, even called some by their first name. I curated conversations on global agenda at the top level and was designing back door conversations for C-Suite executives of the biggest consumer goods companies, ministers of the largest palm oil producing countries, and ministers of the biggest donor countries. Before turning 30, I became Head of International Policy of an influential international organization.

It’s surreal for me. If you ask me, “How did you feel, being in all these conversations? Orchestrating the conversations?” My answer would be - “I don’t know”. I don’t think I felt anything. I was numb. Even now, thinking back, my experience was a blur. White noise. I didn’t feel like myself.

I walked into my career life with a deep passion for change but somewhere on the way, I got disconnected from it. I was in a hamster wheel. In hindsight, I didn’t feel like my purpose, what I wanted to do, what I thought I was doing, what I was actually doing, and the results I wished to accomplished were aligned at all.

I left the world of international advocacy in a traditional sense but I knew it would not be the end of my involvement in creating lasting change. I took a long, hard look at my decade of experience and took the advantage of the distance I created to shed a critical light on how global advocacy and activism operate and how to navigate this landscape with purpose. Now I want to share the magic juice with you.